“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart”Eleanor Roosevelt
One of the most vital things to your university experience is friends. However, this is no cake walk. Finding friends at the start of university seems somewhat straightforward. You go from the clique filled, closed minded gates of school to the open, friendly freshers week where everyone speaks to everyone, there is less judgement and everything seems much easier. This facade wears off of course, and I’m sure many of us have found ourselves surrounded by fake friends, fake people and those who simply don’t make your life better. I am lucky enough to have a core group of friends, at and away from uni, that I can always depend on, even if it means to get away from everyday life, and because of this, I want to explain why I think it is so essential to surround yourself with the right people.
Good people offer you support in the best times and even more in the worst. This can be active or passive but regardless, it is important. In your best times, sometimes they will come to you or you can go to them, knowing there will be no judgement, and simply support. This betters you, and by doing this for others, it betters them. In the worst times, good people will listen to you, they will understand if you are angry, scared, upset or grieving, even if they don’t understand why. They know that you need them, and will do their best to help. Vitally, these are the people who will tell you if you’re doing something wrong, or call you out if you’re being a bad person. You won’t lose these sorts of people as friends, because there is an inherent link between you and them. However many arguments you have or hugs you give, you can depend on them. If you don’t think that’s important for your own personal wellbeing, I pity you.
Being totally comfortable within a group boosts you intellectually and emotionally. I say this because when you are totally comfortable, you are willing to put all your ideas on the table, knowing that if it’s stupid, who cares! You are also more emotionally mature than you will ever be in this scenario, because in day to day life, there is part of you that fears the thoughts of others. Don’t get me wrong, different people experience different levels of this, but I am yet to meet someone who experiences none. Your amygdala lights up when someone relates something to you, worrying about the many possible combinations of words that will spill out of their mouths. Will it harm you, will it benefit you, what’s it going to be… SO MUCH UNCERTAINTY. When you are with the right people, your group, this uncertainty drops tenfold, and it is an amazing feeling that I would rather not live without.
FOMO (fear of missing out), in my life, doesn’t exist within my close knit group. It is something that is hugely felt and discussed within society, especially within student-age groups. However, when you’re within a proper, truly good group of friends, FOMO doesn’t cross your mind. This is because, within this group of people, you may miss a few nights or events with them, but you will always gain the best experiences possible with them. Knowing this, the fact that you might miss a few events, while upsetting, gives you no fear, as you know soon enough, you will have another unforgettable experience with them anyway.
Finally, I strive in my life to be as happy as possible. I try and make my decisions based on this goal. Sometimes, things don’t pan out, or you misjudge your decisions. This happens to everyone. Knowing you have the right group of people around you to pick you up when this does happen, however, turns misjudged decisions into a chance to better yourself, and with that, at least personally, comes happiness. I wish you all many happinesses in whatever you are doing, and I hope you have enjoyed reading about one of the more positive, yet perhaps off topic, posts that I have written.